In my studies I saw that Somatic (BodyMind) work can fall into the same stale patterns of any career to follow others, to do it from the head and follow formulas. I tried that, and felt empty quickly. I started to map another way that asked much more of me. I had to connect with who I AM, my own body, my own mind, my own heart, feeling and being everything. I had questions I didn’t find answered in the yoga world such as what are we doing with our energy, our biomechanics, and how do all these things people call ‘spirituality’ fit into daily life? About 10 years ago I embarked on an educational walkabout - which included questioning everything I had been taught. I started practicing Pilates, Qigong, different styles of meditation and other movement and healing modalities. When I stopped traveling the old path of following others for the sake of validation, I experienced life as a whole instead of a projected reality. Uncovering one misconception led me to uncover others, which allowed me to live with a newfound sense of freedom that I hadn’t experienced before.  

Until a near death experience shook me to my core. It all came into focus for me - facing mortality was nothing like I had pictured. It left me completely traumatized. My days were filled with anxiety, panic attacks, depression, migraines, and other pains. It took me nine months until I felt safe enough to stay alone with my daughters. Even with my training I did not have the tools to move out of that place. Out of necessity I learned how stress & trauma are stored in our bodies, and how energy medicine, shadow work, inner child work, and working with the unconscious mind (hypnosis) could relieve my pain. I had to go into my wounds from childhood, military service, toxic masculinity, and face my PTSD. I look at this period as my most intensive apprenticeship and training.